Cool Bible Jokes

Good Natured Bible Jokes

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?

A. Ruth-less.

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Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?

A. German Shepherds.

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Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?

A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
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Q. What was the greatest female financier in the Bible?

A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

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Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

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Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?

A. Samson. He brought the house down.

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Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

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Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?

A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.

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Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?

A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.

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Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?

A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

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Q. Which Bible character had no parents?

A. Joshua, son of Nun.

I Found this Quite Funny!

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human, it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him"

Me, Erin, Leah Jen... oh yeah and Putty at Flatbed Creek!

Real Guns would have been so much better...lol

Erin and I ... I likey this one! :D

Here's another picture of Erin and I in BC!

I'm Back!!!

Well hello everyone!
I'm back from the B-E-A-utiful land of ear poppage! (BC) I recommend gum...Splash is the best kind of gum! lol anyways I had an amazing time! Some of my favorite times were horseback riding, getting "fooled you rings", garbage ball, taking pictures and hanging out at the Teen Centre and Meeting a team of Street Invaders.

Horseback Riding
An awesome experience! Erin's dad is an RCMP and had to ride a horse for the parade last Saturday so a week before he started riding Cap to get him used to different stuff like cheering and holding a flag. So Erin, Leah, Jen and I got to come along and ride Cap as well! It was my first time riding a horse so I took it slowly just walking around the corral...until the reigns slipped just a tad and Cap went into a full gallop! I screamed...(typical me) and just got him under control before landing on a fence post. So that was quite the experience. The next day we went horseback riding again but I had Erin walk in front of me guiding the horse so I could just walk. Which was ok considering I didn't even want to ride anymore at all. The third day we brought a friend of Erin's and Leah's. Now this girl sounded like she was a pro with horses talking the talk all the way through but she said she had never galloped before. Leah, Erin and Jen went and were already galloping on their second and third day riding (Leah can't even reach the stirups!) Then it was Dakota's turn, she started in a walk then right away went into a gallop, which went on until she was coming up on her first lap, the only problem was she wasn't steering so the horse ran right up to the fence and stopped suddening making Dakota fly forward and barely hang on by the horse's neck. Unfortunately she let go of the reigns as well so he went into a full gallop again and she eventually fell off. When she came back to where everyone was watching she kept on talking like she knew all about what was going on but this horse was just too wild (rather then "maybe next time I should steer") Then it was my turn... lol I started with a walk for the first lap then let Cap go into a trot but man alive did that hurt the butt so I let him go into a full gallop. It was so much fun and a way smoother ride! So my experience with horseback riding was lots of fun!

The "Fooled You" Rings
LOL these rings Erin and I bought for a $1 a pair at the dollar store. You could wear them on your ears, eyebrows, lip, nose...etc. So Erin and I bought some for a second "piercing" on our ears and put one on our lips. LOL I actually fooled Jen and it was lots of fun just goofing off with them. Although I wouldn't actually get a real one for my lip cuz my parents would flip! How do I know this? Well the day I came home from the plane ride I wore one in my lip. My mom didn't say anything at first but my Dad said "What's this? Huh?" "Oh just a lip ring" so he held his hand out and said I had to take it out immediately! Good thing it wasn't real! Although my grandparents weren't any better cuz they're completely against any kind of piercing even for your ears girls and guys. So when they saw some of the pictures with Erin and I they had their fair share of comments. But just so all of you know; I wouldn't pierce my lip...for now and I wouldn't go behind my parents back and do something like that. lol but that was one of the memorible occassions.

Garbage Ball
Garbage is definitely one of the best games ever! Seriously! When I was in BC just this week a group of 10 Christian teens a part of a team of Street Invaders came and got us all in a game of garbage, even random non-Christian teens came and joined in. It's a mix of soccer, rugby and football (full contact sport) and all you do is try and get this huge monster ball to the other end and put it on this shoe to score a point. It was loads of fun! I was really shy at first not tackling anyone but there were five girls who joined in. And they had this attitude about themselves all stuck up and really sick minded, well one of them grabbed the back of Leah's hoody and yanked it back and choked her which made me really mad. So for the rest of the night I tackled every single one of them if they had the ball lol... Chaunsey(one of the Street Invaders) came up to me and said "Andrea, no wonder you get injured you tackle people like that" but there were hardly any points on the other team so that's good. But the bad news was I ended up getting permanent grass stain in my good jeans and ripped the right knee. Plus 14 bruises, 3 welts and a bruised rib! But it's all good I just couldn't laugh or yawn or w/e took a lot of air for about 2 or 3 days.

Taking Pictures
Taking pictures was a blast! We took some random ones at Erin's house, on hikes then when we were in Dawson Creek we took a bunch in an Art Gallery, Craft Store and Thrift Store. It was funny all of the random poses and I'll probably post some on the blog and on my msn space when I get the rest developed...and trust me there's lots I only have about 57 on my msn space but the grapics are a bit screwed up so it looks weird but I'll have 154 pictures when I get the rest developed. Kerrrrayzeee!

Hanging out at the Teen Centre and Meeting the Street Invaders
The teen centre was in the rec. centre and it was sooo much fun! It was a lot like the youth room at Hillsdale Baptist Church. They had a kitchen and a canteen, a pool table, air hockey, foozball, tenis table and even rock climbing! I played against Erin in foozball...lol... I won every time first with two hands then just my right then just my left hand... :) although that's only cuz of practice and playing against people like Bernard, Alex and Barclay that you get better. I also learned how to play "Slap" and fun card game as well as "Crude" a pool game. And it's tons of fun once you get the hang of it! The Street Invaders were awesome too! A bunch of Christian youth putting on games and skits and plays and a bunch of other fun stuff. They were from the ages of 14 to 19 and a leader 24. There was:

Dave- a big tall guy, awesome at sports, hilarious and really great guy, funny at improv. "cuz you're just so beautiful and yeah...uhh yeah *poke* " ...eh Erin? He was great and I have a lot of respect for him after hearing some of his testimony and what he had to say.

Matt- A funny, black curly haired guy(17-19...can't remember how old) with glasses that screams like a girls when playing foozball against me! Hahahaha it was soo much he was so kind and really nice even when he was calling me Erin rather then Andrea (probably cuz both of us were wearing our BIASED T-shirts that night) But he was awesome too!

Krista- Great personality, only 14 but tons of fun and the plans she would thinks of for garbage ball "ok Leah you and I will run up to Dave, you hop on his back and pull him back and I'll grab the ball" (keep in mind Dave is like 6'3'' and Leah is about 4'5'') hahaha

Desaray- ok so first of all I can't spell her name so sound it out phonetically. She was quiet but was very kind and caring to everyone she met.

Alleesha- Another great person, fun to talk to and quite outgoing

Caitlin- A really fun girl that was awesome in garbage ball...but easy to tackle lol She was really kind too!

Shawna- great at volleyball, her testimony was really amazing too!

Chaunsey- LOL this guy was something else, he was really tall with a fro, black-framed glasses, an eyebrow ring and loved listening to Nicole C. Mullen "I have all her CD's even the Christmas one! Except the live one but who needs the live one when you have the rest right?" lol and he was really good at Slap too!

Kristy- Well ... she was different, unique and knew exactly what to do to get on some people's nerves, but she was still pretty nice when she wasn't crushing on all the guys there.

Glen- Well this 300 pound guy was interesting. He liked garbage ball but I don't recommend getting in his way or SLPAT! I got rolled, stepped and sat on a couple times and it really hurt from him. But it's all good!

The Street Invaders were awesome, they would do skits and improv that would tie in with a message or one of their testimonies so that was awesome. Plus they would do dances to songs like HERO from SUPERCHIC[K] Yeah so I had a blast and being able to spend 18 days with Erin was just amazing and I can't wait until next summer!!!!